So.

So.
It took me some time to decide what to write in this post.  I could have told you of my difficulties, of my constant sense of nausea and disgust, of my utter weakness.  I could have described, in detail, smells, tastes and sights. Thoughts.  But we can do that when I come back home, can't we, while sipping a delicious cup of tea, while munchin on some biscuits, while cooking together, while sitting at a cafe', while having a walk, while looking at the sea and inhaling the fresh air.  Slowly, taking our time.  I'll be glad to share stories and insights with those of you who will ask me to, with those of you who will really really want to listen, with those of you who will be happy to learn of a way of seeing a piece of world through the eyes of another with childlike curiosity.  I will rather not share with those who might ask only because it is  polite, a custom to do so, but who actually get that twitch in their eyes which reveals a certain nervous envy towards my living, free-flowing, explorative self.  I know who you are and you know who you are and I free you right here and now from having to pose any questions.  The others, those who like to listen to stories and adventures, those who like to share views with presence, purity and the love for this expanse that is Life, may book a cup of tea, of coke, a walk, a skip, a sitting session on the sofa, or on the floor as from now.

This trip has been an opportunity to come to write and feel the following:

I am happy and grateful for the extreme variety of fruits and vegetables I have had the pleasure to smell and to savour in the places I grew up
I am happy and grateful for the incredible good-hearted, open-minded people I have the privilege to have as friends and for all the others I have and constantly randomly meet
I am happy and grateful for my childhood, my memories, the fun and games, the lightness of play, the giggles, the little melodramas, the bruises, the plasters, all happening in a secure, loving and clean environment
I am happy and grateful for living in places where i do not need to climb far above 2000 m of altitude in order to find purity of nature and peace.  I can if I want to, but it is not my only option.
I am happy and grateful to live in a place where I can sunbathe naked on my balcony or with other happy naked people on a beach, if I want to.
I am happy and grateful to live in a place of such VARIETY and CHOICE.
Of such FREEDOM and constant EVOLUTION.

I am happy and grateful to feel light when deciding to leave a situation that is detrimental to my spirit and my body
Instead of feeling shame and guilt and thinking I'll do something extremely wrong if I don't hang in there
instead of thinking that the lesson lies in hanging in there.
For me the lesson (now learned) lies in happily deciding to get out of there. :)

I am very grateful to Patricia (my Australian neighbour) for having been there when I was allowing myself to make that shift.  Thank you Patricia !

And dad, no, I won't be a Martyr.  Take the last 'r' off  :)

Mules carrying heavy things have just passed in front of the internet cafe' and I'll follow their trail, in my endeavour to change my plane ticket and come to hug you all, for slow, long, PRESENT hugs, very soon.